


The Naughty List

by CocoChanyeol (wutaeng_clan)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Comedy, Crack, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 16:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17165414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wutaeng_clan/pseuds/CocoChanyeol
Summary: Where Santa walks in on Chanbaek post-sex, panics, slips on Baekhyun's cum (yes, you heard me), hits the back of his head on the fireplace, knocking him out cold and unconscious in the Chanbaek living room. Now Chanyeol and Baekhyun have to save Christmas by finishing the rest of Santa's deliveries.“Okay Yeol just calm down.”“I can’t! I can’t calm down! We ruined Christmas!!”“It’s okay I have an idea. Since this was technically your fault, you have to act as Santa and finish his deliveries.”“Me-Santa?!And how was it my fault?! It was your cum!”





	1. Ho-Ho-Ho No...

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first fic ever and English is literally my first language but I’m terrible in it, so sorry for any grammar mistakes. This fic idea came to me while I was in my accounting lecture, so I hope you enjoy it because my grades slipped.

“B-baek do you hear that noise? It’s coming from the roof,” Chanyeol pants.

“No Chanyeol just—just keep going please I’m close,” Baekhyun begs, clutching the edge of the fireplace, where Chanyeol is pounding him from behind.

“The sound it-its coming clos-ser! Hhhgn”

“I’m coming!” Baekhyun cries out, spilling all over the floor. Chanyeol follows soon after, coming in the condom. (in this house, we stan safe sex)

“Hmm t-that was okay I guess.” 

“Shut up Baek, you loved it. Let’s go get cleaned up.” Chanyeol says as he 

Chanyeol then gets into a dialogue about why Baekhyun should let him top more often as they begin to make their way towards the bathroom, when they hear the noise from roof resounding through the chimney, stopping them in their tracks. 

Suddenly a loud thump is heard as it hits the base of their fireplace.

“Ho ho OH?” A warm, resonant but shocked voice appears out of nowhere.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun quickly turn around and see Santa standing in front of the fireplace, wide eyes staring at a naked Chanyeol and Baekhyun. 

“Oh my god is that Santa!” Baekhyun yells while trying to cover himself with a pillow from the couch.

Santa, holding two gifts in his hand, begins to panic because:

  1. No one is supposed to see him enter their house, he could get probably arrested and 
  2. There’s two naked men, that have clearly just had sex, right in front of him. 



He tries to run back to the fireplace but slips on Baekhyun’s cum that was left forgotten on the floor, hits his head on the fireplace, knocking him out cold.

 

“What the hell just happened! Why is Santa here? Wait Santa? Santa’s real? Oh my god, what is happening right now,” Chanyeol rants in frustration. He starts to think back to his childhood when Yoora pulled down “Santa’s” beard, only to find out it was his dad. This chunky man laying in their living room looks nothing like this dad.

“Santa…Mr Santa? Oh my fricking god, he fricking dead,” Baekhyun quotes as he pokes Santa’s cheek trying to see if he’s awake, while Chanyeol is frantically pacing around the living room because they might have potentially killed Santa.

“Baek! This isn’t the time to quote vines! Oh my god what-Santa just-that’s Santa-and now he-lying-is he even breathing? Check his pulse-oh my god,” Chanyeol starts shaking Santa, but mans are not waking up, “I need to wake him up he has to finish delivering the presents and Baek what the hell are you doing?!” 

Chanyeol turns to Baekhyun and sees him shaking two the gifts Santa dropped, one medium sized gift and one small box. Baekhyun seeing the bigger boxed gift is labelled with his name, he gets excited thinking about what he wrote on his xmas list guessing it could either be another pair of ugly Balenciagas or a pink vibrating dildo, lowkey he hopes it's the latter. He puts down his gift and analyzes the small box for labelled with Chanyeol’s name. 

“What could he have gotten that it fits in this small box? Maybe it’s that fancy guitar pick he’s been gushing about. Or a tiny piece of coal hehe,” Baekhyun thinks to himself.

He gives up because Chanyeol hasn’t stopped pacing and it’s interrupting his investigation.

“Okay Yeol just calm down. Deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mou-“

“I can’t! I can’t calm down! We ruined Christmas!!” Chanyeol begins to cry.

“Babe! Don’t cry, it's okay I have an idea.” Baekhyun goes to console Chanyeol in his arms while he cries, “Since this was technically your fault, you have to act as Santa and finish his deliveries.” 

Chanyeol whips his head up from Baekhyun’s chest so quickly, Baekhyun is pretty sure he heard a crack. Must’ve hurt. 

“Me-Santa?! Are you joking? And how was it my fault? It was your cum!” 

“OKAY but this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t insisted on topping so bad and having sex by the fireplace. Now look where we are! I’m telling you, good things never happen when you top!”

Chanyeol’s still sniffling, “You seemed to like it a lot though. The fact that you came pretty quickly proves—”

“That’s not the point!” Baekhyun interrupts, “Ugh okay fine, if it makes you feel better I’ll sit in the sleigh while you do the deliveries. I’ll go through the list and hand you the presents and coal to make it easier for you, okay baby?” 

“Okay deal. I guess we should go up to the roof,” Chanyeol begins to walk towards the fireplace until he realizes, “wait I’m naked. I should go to our room to change.” Chanyeol does a 180 towards the staircase, but Baekhyun grabs his arm, stopping him from moving further.

“That’s so far! Let’s just rob Santa. It’ll help you play the part if you’re at least dressed like him,” Baekhyun suggests.

“Baek! You can’t ROB Santa!” 

“What do you mean I can’t rob Santa?” Baekhyun pouts while holding Santa’s suit and wallet in his hands. 

“Oh my god, why are you like this?” Chanyeol reluctantly takes the suit from Baekhyun and begins to get dressed regardless.

 

 

“Oh wow, I’ve never been on our roof before. The view is so cool!” Baekhyun shivers, “it’s pretty cold up here too.”

“...”

“...”

“That’s because you’re still naked Baekhyun.”

“You don’t think we have time to go to Walmart right?” Baekhyun asks but gets his answer with one look at Chanyeol’s forehead wrinkles, he’s clearly stressed. They both hop in the sleigh, Baekhyun going to the back of it where the huge bag full of gifts sits.

“Okay well I remember Sehun’s been asking for a hoodie and Junmyeon’s such a grandpa I bet he asked for something practical like underwear...I think I’ll open their gifts to check,” Baekhyun whispers to himself.

He looks through the big bag, ass in the air, thoroughly looking for gifts marked with Sehun and Junmyeon’s name, while Chanyeol is observing the sleigh’s controls and finds an iPad Santa that left. 

 

“Baek! Look at this!” he says, very fascinated with the device in his hands, “This iPad has the list of houses we have to go to and who’s on the nice and naughty list! I think there’s a special GPS app that gets the reindeers to fly where we need to go. That helps a lot since I don—Where did you find those clothes Baek?” Chanyeol asks as Baekhyun sits himself beside Chanyeol at the front of the sleigh.

“Oh my goodness Yeollie! Look at the time, we only have a few hours to deliver all the presents before people start to wake up! There’s no time for questions! We have to save Christmas!” Baekhyun does a little fist pump to convince Chanyeol of his enthusiasm.

“Plus I’ll just give Sehun his sweater back, maybe I’ll give it as a late Christmas gift from myself since I forgot to buy him a gift this year,” He murmurs the last sentence hoping Chanyeol didn’t catch it.

“You’re right! Let’s save Christmas Baekkie!” Chanyeol grabs the reins and Baekhyun cheers beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all of y'all who though you were getting smut, I laffed. Sorry but you're not getting a smut from me! Mostly because I don't know how to write it.


	2. You Know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen…

“So are we leaving now or what?” Baekhyun asks, glancing at his phone’s clock seeing they just wasted 10 minutes, waiting for Chanyeol to figure out how to get the reindeer to take off.

“I got this Baek.” Chanyeol reassures Baekhyun and begins to sing the part of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer where it names the reindeers and finishes it with a, “Giddy up!”

Chanyeol waits in anticipation with a huge smile on his face, but the sleigh doesn’t budge and Prancer was clearly not impressed and decides it’s time to lie down.

He scratches the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.

Baekhyun grabs Chanyeol’s hands, that are still holding the reins, gives it a hard tug and in seconds, they’re flying over their neighbourhood.

“I was just about to do that by the way,” Chanyeol tries.

 

Picking up the iPad, Baekhyun starts scrolling through Santa’s list, noticing Santa’s already gone through most of the houses around the world, he sighs in relief. He slyly puts a checkmark beside Sehun and Junmyeon’s name since they won’t have to stop there anymore, thanks to him. 

 

Baekhyun lets Chanyeol know that they’re headed towards Kyungsoo and Jongin’s house, as he looks for their gifts in the bag. He holds up Kyungsoo’s gift. 

“I bet you he got those pink fuzzy handcuffs,” Baekhyun guesses, “that freak.”

“How can you tell?” Chanyeol laughs.

“It’s the right weight.”

“W-why do you know that?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Baekhyun blushes avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes, “yet.”

Now it’s Chanyeol’s turn to blush. Both of them looking away from each other, cheeks red but not from the cold, waiting for this sleigh to finally land and when it does, Chanyeol begins to think about how he’s going to get down the chimney. 

He gets out the sleigh holding the gifts and peers down the brick chimney.

“Looks like a long way down...” Chanyeol says nervously, little bit of sweat trickling down his neck.

“It’s okay baby you got this!” 

“You’re only saying that because you’re not the one going down,” he pouts. He goes to sit on the ledge of chimney, says a mini prayer and hops off the ledge, going down the chimney. 

 

“Oof that was so hot, wasn’t it Rudolph?” Baekhyun’s voice dripping in admiration, “I’m so lucky.” 

Rudolph grunts in agreement.

 

 

Chanyeol soon comes out of the chimney with a whole lot of pride shown on his face, as he successfully delivered his first set of presents. Baekhyun’s heart does a flip seeing how happy Chanyeol looks and smiles to himself. 

 

The Christmas-saving duo had covered almost all of the houses that remained on the list. Chanyeol was busting his ass going house to house, down chimney to chimney, while Baekhyun was busting his playing PUBG mobile, which he found that Santa had it downloaded on the iPad. A notification from the iPad interrupted his game, showing the next address they were to go to. He squeals in excitement when he sees they’re going to Yixing’s. 

“Chanyeol! Please let me come to Yixing’s with you. I miss him so much,” Baekhyun begs and adds in a little pout, because he knows the effect he has on his boyfriend. It’s no surprise when Chanyeol agrees and soon enough they’re walking towards Yixing’s chimney. 

Chanyeol goes down first with Yixing’s gift and Baekhyun is supposed to follow suit, but chickens out when he looked down the chimney, “Chanyeollie, I’m scared,” he whisper yells. 

“It’s okay Baekkie! Remember I was scared at first? You told me I could do it, so now I’m telling you, you can to. Plus, I’ll be here to catch you at the bottom, okay?” Chanyeol reassures him. 

 

Baekhyun sits on the ledge of the chimney and jumps down, trusting Chanyeol would be there to catch him and sure enough, he lands safely in Chanyeol’s arms. 

“My hero!” Baekhyun pecks Chanyeol’s cheek.

“You’re so cheesy Baek,” Chaneyol rolls his eyes, but his cheeks deceive him and turn as red as his Santa fit.

“You love it.” 

Chanyeol really does.

 

While Chanyeol is putting the gift under the tree, he sees Yixing left Santa little sheep-shaped cookies. He thinks Yixing is too pure for this world and eats a few cookies and packs the rest for Baekhyun. 

As Chanyeol was doing his Santa duties, Baekhyun quietly snuck upstairs to Yixing’s bedroom, where he was sleeping peacefully. Baekhyun tippy toes to the bed and gives Yixing a kiss on his forehead, “See you soon hyung!” He whispers, and makes his way back downstairs. 

 

 

The night is turning into morning, both Chanyeol and Baekhyun are exhausted, fortunately they finally get to the bottom of the list and have one house left to go. Baekhyun watches Chanyeol throw himself down the chimney, looking like he no longer has a will to live. That’s how tired Chanyeol is. 

Baekhyun starts to get anxious since Chanyeol still hasn’t come back up, he usually delivers the gifts really quickly. Baekhyun goes towards the chimney and when he hears crying, he decides to go down. 

He’s surprised at the scene in front of him, a few broken ornaments, a crying child and Chanyeol making goofy faces in attempt to making the child stop crying. 

“Chanyeol! What happened?” Baekhyun asks in panic because what if the crying wakes up the parents?

“I-I don’t know! I was trying to put the gift under the tree and this child was downstairs. I wasn’t expecting to see anyone and accidentally dropped an ornament and now the kid won’t stop crying,” he answers with his bottom lip quivering. 

Baekhyun slowly approaches the crying child and crouches to their level, “Hey buddy, I’m really sorry you got scared earlier, but there’s no need to be. We’re here to give you your gift! You listen to your parents all the time and you obey in school right?” 

The little kid slowly nods their head, still sniffling but no longer sobbing. 

“Because you’ve been such a good kid this whole year, Santa got you an extra special gift! See Santa over there is holding it,” Baekhyun nods towards Chanyeol who does an awkward smile and waves with the gift in hand.

“H-he doesn’t look like Santa,” the child points out.

“I know right, he looks more like one of Santa’s elves,” Baekhyun whispers to the kid with a wink.

“Ya! I heard that!” 

Chanyeol’s annoyance quickly vanishes when he sees Baekhyun and the kid giggling together. His heart softens and thinks about how good Baekhyun is with kids, he can’t wait for them to raise some of their own. He watches as Baekhyun gives the kid one of Yixing’s sheep cookies and the child gives Baekhyun a hug before running upstairs to their room. 

Chanyeol goes to help Baekhyun up from his crouched position and smiles, staring down into his eyes, “Baekhyun, I—”

“WHO GAVE YOU THAT COOKIE?…WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE TWO MEN DOWNSTAIRS?” a yelling voice from upstairs interrupts.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s eyes widen in shock. Chanyeol sprints to put the gift under the tree and Baekhyun is in the fireplace jumping up and down trying to figure out how to get back to the roof. 

Loud footsteps can be heard stomping down the stairs and Chanyeol scrambles towards the chimney. 

“Oh my god is he holding a bat?!” 

The two make it up to the roof safely, barely missing the swing of the man’s bat. 

They run towards the sleigh, laughing so hard that Baekhyun is holding up Chanyeol to keep him from falling. 

As the sleigh takes off and their laughter dies down, Baekhyun lets out a happy sigh and snuggles next to Chanyeol.

 

The sun has started to rise, peeking behind mountains, giving off various hues of red, purples and oranges. Baekhyun reaches out as if to touch the sun and Chanyeol stares in awe. He’s the one, Chanyeol thinks. 

The glow the sun leaves on Baekhyun’s skin is, “Beautiful,” Chanyeol blurts out loud, “Baekhyun, you truly are beautiful human to exist.”

Baekhyun looks up at Chanyeol with a smirk, “And you make a sexy Santa, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol snorts and leans in to presses their lips together in a passionate kiss. Baekhyun responded immediately, playfully nibbling on Chanyeol’s bottom lip and reached up for his neck. The kiss could describe their relationship: gentle, passionate and playful.

It was in that moment, when they slowly separated as the sleigh landed on their roof that they knew they want this forever, to be together forever.


	3. The Naughty List

Baekhyun and Chanyeol exit their fireplace, hand in hand with smiling. They notice Santa’s no longer laying on the living room floor. The smiles on their faces are wiped right off when they see Santa coming from the kitchen naked. Wasn’t he wearing underwear before? Baekhyun thinks he’s gonna be sick. 

“MY EYES!” Chanyeol cries and covers his eyes, trying to erase the image out of his head.

“Ho-ho-hi there! Thank you for finishing my deliveries. I’ll be taking this leftover bulgogi you have in your fridge, or had” Santa walks past the two towards the fireplace, with a plate in hand, “Thanks again and good luck!”

 

Baekhyun wonders why Santa wished them good luck, but then remembers its officially Christmas and they can open their gifts.

“Chanyeol! Let’s open our gifts now!” Baekhyun hurriedly runs towards the tree to pick up their gifts. He gives Chanyeol the small gift Santa brought him and notices Chanyeol’s fidgeting with the box. Baekhyun shrugs it off and opens his gift.

“YES! This is the dildo I wanted! What did you get Chanyeol?” 

Baekhyun’s smile starts to fall when he sees Chanyeol’s face looking very serious.

“Chanyeol? Is everything okay?”

Chanyeol looks at the small box in his hand and takes a deep breath, 

“Baekhyun, I just wanted to say that the past 7 years knowing you and the past two officially dating you, have been the greatest years of my life. When you walked in the practice room those 7 years ago and we made eye contact, I just knew that you were someone meant to be in my life forever,” he slowly begins to unwrap the small gift in his hands.

“Days with you are always brighter, nights without you are always emptier, life with you is always happier and life without you is something I could never imagine. So, as I stand here under this conveniently placed mistletoe that i don’t remember either of us putting here,” he finishes opening the gift, revealing a velvet box inside he gets down on one knee, “Byun Baekhyun, will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?”

Baekhyun covers his mouth with one hand and allows the tears to fall when he sees the diamond ring inside the box. 

“Yes, Chanyeol! Of course I will marry you!” Baekhyun tackles Chanyeol to the ground in a hug and peppers him with kisses. Laughing, Chanyeol holds Baekhyun’s face, stopping him from kissing his face and reaches down to grab Baekhyun’s left hand and places the ring on his finger. Baekhyun smiles down at his fiancé and kisses him on the lips. Things become heated quickly when Chanyeol slips his tongue between Baekhyun’s plush lips.

 

“Maybe we should use those pink fuzzy handcuffs you bought,” Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows.

“Oh my god Chanyeol shut up,” Baekhyun gets off of Chanyeol so they can both stand up.

“What? You’ve been naughty this year, we need to put those into good use,”

Baekhyun slaps Chanyeol’s arm, but runs upstairs towards their bedroom to look for the handcuffs and Chanyeol laughs as he runs after him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the product of my crackhead brain. Thanks for reading!
> 
> My twitter is @ cocochanyeol_


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